


The Rules

by Dawnwolf17



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Daredevil (TV), Deadpool - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Apocalypse, Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, Blood and Violence, Clint and Nat are really minor background characters, F/M, Feels, M/M, Major Character Injury, No Beta, Protective Tony Stark, Protective Wade, Spideypool - Freeform, Stucky - Freeform, Wade rides a horse, Zombie Apocalypse, it's not, the horse doesn't die, was supposed to be a oneshot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-13 02:32:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10504611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawnwolf17/pseuds/Dawnwolf17
Summary: There were very few rules to the apocalypse- but the top of that list was to not make any bonds with anyone because you would lose them.Peter and his little tight group of survivors seem to be okay with breaking that rule, but what about when a mysterious stranger on the back of a horse rides into the middle of the dead city?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Agh okay so to anyone that read any of my previous works and wondered where the fuck I got off to- life happened. Sorrry. I'm graduating high school soon but the pressure is /on/ as well as a whole big pile of personal crisis on top of that.. yeah. Writing is just not something I have had the time for and I also hit a big chunk of writers block so that made it even more difficult. I have a dozen things that are about half way written (especially little one shots in the Jurassic Marvels 'verse) but these things will be finished and uploaded at some point. I have not abandoned any of my promises.   
> And for everyone who left a prompt suggestion on the last chapter of JM- thank you so much and I will get to work on those eventually too. 
> 
> But for now- here's a little something new that is based loosely off a roleplay a friend and I did a while back. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated and as always- I love you guys and am glad to be back!! (Ish. Back-ish. Back for now. Don't get too comfy with my return)

It was the number one rule of the world now.

Well, not really; the first real rule was simply stay alive, but this was almost as important to one’s mental health if you had any sanity left to speak of. 

Don’t fall in love. Don’t form bonds and don’t get attached to anyone because they could and probably would die at almost any minute. There was no known immunity. And the more people that have close bonds and fall heartbroken after the loss of a loved one means less soldiers out there trying to survive this.

People got sick for seemingly any random reason whether they were bitten or not. It may have been airborne, may have come from the water.. From a pesticide in food.. No one really knew how this whole disease outbreak really began but once the ball got rolling there was no stopping it.

People fell like dominoes one after another, and no one was safe. 

Few people tried to form faction like groups, thinking there was safety in numbers or just generally feeling that human companionship was a necessary thing to get through this, while others made it a point to kill off other people to try and prevent the spread of the disease and save their own hides in the end. 

One of the most famous and well known factions was called the Avengers. Tony Stark and Steve Rogers were the fearless leaders and protectors of their group, and so far they have made it through without losing any members so they were doing something right. 

The group made their headquarters in Stark tower, Natasha and Clint being the sharpshooters that defended the towers integrity, Bruce was the scientist locked in the center trying to find out what the disease was, how it started, and how to cure it, and Peter Parker, Matt Murdock, and Bucky Barnes were the scavengers; the ones that took to the ground and found food and supplies to bring back to the tower to keep everyone alive. 

Peter was the sneaky and quick one that could break into buildings and grab things. At first Tony had been hesitant to let the boy out and risk losing him since the older inventor had taken on a sort of father like bond to the younger boy but eventually Peter won the argument and has proved to be very valuable to the team. 

Matt -despite being blind- was actually very useful on their missions since he could hear and feel any zombies coming from miles away and alert the group to prepare for it. He also had some kick ass hand to hand combat skills and he was not afraid to get up close and personal with the zombies. And than Bucky was the one who was always armed to the teeth, removing any threats that crossed their paths and making sure they got back to the Tower safely. 

The Avengers were a tight knit group that functioned well together but if there was one thing that was known about them besides their talent at survival it was that they were not welcoming to new people. A few survivors of the initial wave of terror had tried to take over Stark tower for it’s security and they had been thrown out on their asses without remorse. The men and Natasha had all been a fairly close group before the apocalypse, the only one that was an outsider was Bucky but Steve had not taken no for an answer when he had shown up and begged to be with them. He melted into the group fairly well and no one regretted letting him in. He pulled his weight.   
There were very few healthy humans left, at least in this area, and none were free range runners. The ones that did survive were people like the Avengers that found a safe zone and holed up in it, defending their homebase and standing their ground. Running was pointless. You were safer where you knew you could fight. 

It was their knowledge of this fact that surprised the three hunters when they found a man walking down the street, completely alone. The man was dressed in all black, utility belts strapped all across his body filled with guns, knives, and ammo, and two twin katanas that were criss-crossed over his back. His outfit was sort of similar to Bucky’s old Winter Soldier get up, black mask covering the lower portion of his face included. 

This had almost sent the oldest of the three into a panic attack but Peter and Matt settled him and reminded him that Hydra had been taken out years ago. This man was likely just a well armed civilian. Which was freaky in it’s own way but better than hydra. 

The man walked with an air of confidence that showed he was not afraid despite the fact that he was out here alone where a horde of zombies could ambush and eat him at any time. He was heavily armed but that did not mean he was safe. Sometimes that was the opposite of helpful. The weight of all the weapons made it hard to run quickly. All the pouches lining his thighs and waist had to hinder his mobility to some degree. 

Peter kept pushing Matt to see if there was anyone hiding in the shadows guarding the man like Bucky did for them but the blind man insisted that the only other living beings out here were the three of them and another strange heartbeat that was a little off kilter that he assumed belonged to the man. 

This absolutely baffled Peter but it set Bucky’s nerves even more on edge. He did not trust anyone that could make it this far on their own, especially with that appearance and he warned the group to stay away from him and let him pass quietly, unnoticed. Matt seconded that idea but Peter just couldn’t let it go. 

He makes sure he had the safety lock on his pistol before he departed from his friends and moved silently across the road to walk adjacent to the man, keeping himself in the shadows the best he could. He knew in any other situation his friends probably would have yelled for him to come back but no one wanted to give away their positions and call any unwanted attention to them so they wisely kept their mouths shut. 

He heard a soft knicker to his right and he jumps a little when he saw a dark brown colored horse standing off in an alley. The horse was not tied down and the animal had heavy looking saddle bags strapped around him that were probably filled with clothes, food, weapons…

He wasn't even thinking as he instinctively moves towards the horse, he wasn’t mentally processing the possible dangers of what he was doing, just that there were supplies that his family would need sitting right in front of him. 

Peter had lived in the city his whole life, he had never even come within a few feet of a real horse besides a policeman's mount once years ago so he had no idea what to do as he approached the large animal, hand out and open. He didn’t want to hurt the horse. The creature gave a loud and deep snort and stamped its hoof on the ground, tossing it’s head so the light caught in it’s gleaming brown eyes in a display of power. 

Peter started mumbling soft words to the animal to calm it before he heard the distinct click of a gun safety being removed behind him. He paused mid-step and takes a deep and slow breath, turning around to face whatever was there. 

It was the man dressed in black he had been following before. It made sense now. This was his horse. He had been raiding the streets for supplies to bring back to here. “Shit.” Peter mutters softly. 

“Yeah. Shit is right. You better step the hell back little boy.” a deep and angry voice growls. Peter could not see the man’s face but he could see the loaded weapon in his hand pointed directly at Peter’s head. 

The boy nods and moves away from the horse immediately, hands shaking and knees wobbling as he looks at the man. “I- I’m sorry I- I didn’t know he was yours.. I.. I just was trying to find supplies. I’m sorry.” Peter stutters out a desperate apology. 

The shadow covered man slowly lowers his weapon. “You’re not alone out here. You wouldn’t survive. Where’s the rest of your group?” 

“Back a couple of blocks.” Peter says slowly. He wasn’t really sure if Matt and Bucky had followed him or not but he was half hoping they did not because he knew Bucky would shoot the man without asking questions. And Bucky rarely ever missed. 

The man considers this and nods slowly. “I’m just passing through.” he slips the pistol back into his thigh holster. “I won’t give you any trouble.” he walks passed Peter and gives the horse a soft pat on the flank. He starts to take things from a duffle bag and put them in the saddle bags, refiling his supplies.

“I like your horse.” Peter says, opening his mouth before thinking like usual. 

The man seemed surprised that the young kid was still standing there and trying to talk to him. “He wasn’t mine to begin with but he is now.” he chuckles. “Doubt his real owner is alive enough to be missing him any though.” he tucks the empty bag into a pocket on the saddle and puts his foot in the stirrup, balancing on the one leg for a moment before swinging his leg over and settling himself in the western saddle. 

The horse made a soft whinnying sound when the man was on his back and he patted the animal's muscled neck softly. “Good luck out there kiddo.” the man says and gives the horse a light kick in the side, making the animal snort and start to walk away. 

“You too.” Peter whispers quietly as he watched the man give the horse another harder kick and the horse reared up and bucked before taking off at a run down the road, it’s hooves clacking loudly off the pavement. 

Moments after the man had turned a corner and was out of view, Matt and Bucky blow into the alley with all the grace of a hurricane. “What the hell were you thinking Peter?” Matt growls.

“You could have gotten yourself killed!” Bucky emphasises and gives him a good hard slap on the back of the head. Thankfully not with his metal arm. 

“We’ve never seen a single loner before. I was just curious..” Peter tried to defend himself but he knew it was essentially useless. They were pissed. 

“You never heard the saying ‘curiosity killed the cat’?” Matt asks and smacks the boy in the ankle with his cane. 

“Ow! Can you guys stop hitting me?” Peter whines, nursing both his sore spots. 

“When you stop acting like foolish child, da.” Bucky’s accent tended to pop out a bit when he was deeply frustrated like now. 

“I’m sorry..” Peter sighs softly. He didn’t mean to anger his friends. Matt and Peter’s relationship went way back before the apocalypse started. The two had attended high school together and were always good pals. Peter was one of the few people that did not shy away from Matt because of his disability, nor did he pity him or try to do anything extra for him because of that blindness. Peter treated him like a human and like a friend and Matty had always appreciated that.   
And though Peter and Bucky had only met a short while back, they hit it off pretty immediately too. Peter had been absolutely fascinated by Bucky’s metal arm and the hardened soldier soon began to lighten up around the barely legal teen. His jokes and smart mouthed attitude were amusing and brought some light into the dark world and Bucky could appreciate that.   
But sometimes Peter’s youth was not such a good thing, like this. He still had his spark for life and sometimes the older members of the team fear that he forgets they are in a world end situation and that any little mistake could mean death. 

Matthew was the first to break his terse stance. “It’s alright Peter. No hard feelings. However I strongly recommend that you begin more carefully evaluating situations before you launch yourself inside of them. I think we’ve done enough for today. Let’s head back to the tower.” he turns and begun stalking out of the alley in his usual quick and brisk pace. 

Peter glances up at Bucky to try and read his emotions but like usual his face was kept purposefully blank. Slowly they both walked after the blind man, their pace slower than Matt’s, though Bucky walked in a lockstep pattern while Peter was more just dragging his heels like a moody teenager. 

When they got back to the tower they were greeted with the usual reception of mission report and being checked over for wounds before being allowed fully inside the tower again. Peter was waiting on a bed of nails for one of the two older men to tell Tony about his blunder with the stranger so he could get his ass whooped a second time but to his surprise the rat out never came. 

Bucky gave him a pensive stare that Peter read well enough as ‘this is your only lucky break. Don't fuck up again.’ He nodded gratefully at the older soldier as they walk side by side into the tower. 

The incident with the stranger was not mentioned between them again. 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.--.

 

“You have got to be kidding me! Where did all these come from?” Bucky snarls as he decapitates a zombie that was trying to turn him into its afternoon snack.   
The group was out on what was just a standard supply run when they were ambushed by a horde of zombies. Matt had barely had time to detect them and warn the group before they were fighting for their lives. 

Molted blood and guts flew everywhere as the humans shot and stabbed more and more zombies, the bodies piling up quickly in the center of the street. Peter mostly was operating as a distraction to give the other men time to kill the walkers that hunted them, his lithe body darting around and yelling loudly to distract them and divert their attention to him. Bucky and Matt could only move so fast, after all. 

“Remember when people used to think the apocalypse would have been cool?” Peter asks as he jumps and does a backflip, kicking a zombie in the head to knock it down before stabbing it with the butterfly knife he favored. 

“Kid you really gotta stop trying to have conversations at the worst moments.” Bucky grimaces and watches a head roll after he’d chopped it off.

“What can I say? I’m a nervous talker!” Peter laughs softly. 

“We noticed.” Matt retorts as he swung his blade around, hitting way more zombies than a blind guy should be able to. 

“Peter duck!” Bucky yells and shoots over the kid’s head. That was lesson one of being around Bucky. If he said duck, you had about .5 seconds before your head was going to be blown off. He didn’t give much warning and he certainly didn’t bullshit around about that. 

Peter hits the ground and rolls back up quickly, standing beside the soldier. “I hate this.” 

“Oh yes cause I am so crazy about it!” Matt snarks as he kicks a zombie in the midsection before stabbing it in the forehead. “In fact I think Bucky and I started the ‘i love zombies’ fan club, right Buck?” 

“Sure. Why not.” Bucky grimaces. “Damn it there’s a lot of em. They won’t stop coming. We need to get out of here or we’re gonna tire out before there’s an end to em.” 

Everyone knew Bucky was right but how were they going to get away? They were completely surrounded, just fighting to keep a clear circle around them to breathe in. Trying to move anywhere was too dangerous. 

A distant clattering sound echoes off the pavement, accompanied by loud whoops and gunfire. Bucky looks around worriedly while Matt’s face went blank as he focuses on interpreting what was going on.   
“It’s a horse. And a human.” he finally says to answer everyone’s question. 

All the zombies were turning to investigate what was making all that loud noise since there was no blood to hold their attention and noise was a powerful attraction to them. Peter also seemed to be looking. His heart was hoping he knew who it was. That the man had made it. 

Sure enough, a large chestnut brown horse and a man dressed in black military gear ripped around the corner of a building, barreling right towards the Avenger’s carelessly, his eyes- which were the only visible feature of his face- seemed to be focused on the group. 

He was holding onto the horse with his thick thighs and knees and was shooting an Ak-47 gun with his hands, mowing down every zombie in front of him. The horse wasn’t too bothered by the noise or the undead creatures it trampled under its hooves. 

Peter grins when the man cut a path through the zombies and he thought he was going to stop at the group and help but to his shock the man did not stop- he barely even slowed down- as he grabbed Peter by the arm and hauled him up with nearly inhuman strength. He helped Peter onto the horse behind him and just kept the horse running full speed ahead, still shooting zombies as he shouts for Peter to hold onto him. 

Peter could hear Bucky and Matt both yelling ‘what the fuck’ and calling Peter’s name after them but he sure as hell was not about to jump off the freakin horse despite how scared he was and how much he did not want to leave his friends behind. 

The scared teen immediately wraps his arms around the man's waist and he could feel his thickly built chest and abs under his hands even through his shirt. “Who are you?!” he shouts over the wind ripping across his face from the fast speed the animal under them was moving at. 

“Call me Deadpool!” the man responds in a surprisingly calm and almost gleeful voice. He goes back to shooting zombies like nothing ever happened. 

“Uh kay Deadpool. Why the hell did you just steal me from my friends? And where are we going?” 

“Only room for one back there, I remember you, you were nice before and I wasn’t really wanting to see you be eaten. And obviously we’re getting the hell out of walker hot spot land.” he gives the horse a kick in the side and the animal snorts before somehow seeming to run even faster. 

“What about my friends!” Peter cries as his hold on the man's waist tightens. 

“Sorry kid. They’re on their own.” his voice had a slight solemn tone to it but he did not even pretend to entertain the thought of going back for Matt and Buck. 

Wade swings the gun around in one skillful push of his hand so it hung across the backs of his broad shoulders, hands collecting the horse's reins so he could steer it around a turn. 

Peter was mesmerized by the feeling of the powerful animal under him. He could feel the horse's sides heaving as it breathed, carrying both his and Deadpool’s weights plus all of the mans gear all without breaking stride. 

After they were clear from the worst of the horde, Deadpool reached down and he lightly pats the horse’s shoulder, the animal immediately slowly down to a trot, nickering softly and flicking its long tail as it strides easily down the empty street. 

“What’s his name?” Peter asks as he loosens the death grip he’d had around the man’s waist and reaches one hand around to rest on the horse’s sweaty hip. 

“Not really sure. I’ve been calling him Reaper though. I’ve watched this horse decapitate a zombie with his hooves. He’s got a hell of a kick and fighting spirit.” he chuckles. “Probably why he and I got on so well from the moment I stole him. He’s smart. Knows what and when to kick. I imagine he lived on his own a while before I found him.”   
Peter had never heard someone talk so reverently about an animal before but he supposed in this world a man took what he could get and if this horse was all Deadpool had than he had every reason to love the animal and every right to talk about him like that. 

Peter looked at the street that used to never be empty, imagining businessmen running in their suits in a rush to get to work and mothers pushing their strollers around. Dog walkers with five dogs dragging them along as the person is on their phone. But when he opened his eyes there was nothing but decay and broken store windows. He sighs softly and lets his forehead rest against the man’s leather covered back. “I have to go home. Tony and the others are going to be worried sick about me- and if Matt and Bucky don’t make it back someone has to tell them what happened.” 

“First of all, what kind of a name is Bucky?” Deadpool asks with a snort. 

“It’s his nickname. No one really ever called him his real name.” Peter explains. 

“Righto. Alright. Second, We are not going back there- way too dangerous. But if you have somewhere I can drop you off with other people I’m not going to kidnap you. Just tell me where to go.” 

“Thank you.” Peter lets out a relieved sigh. “Stark Tower.” he mutters by way of directions. He figured the man probably knew where that was since it was a bit hard to miss. 

“HOly Jesus!” Peter’s savior jerks on the horse’s reins to pull him to a stop as he turns in the saddle to look at the big eyed teen. “You’ve gotta be shitting me. You’re an Avenger?” 

“Yeah.” Peter mumbles shyly, unsure if that was a good thing or not. 

“Congrats.” the man seemed to calm down a bit. “Lucky fuck. You’re more likely to make it out of this mess than anyone.” 

“Not really. You seem to be doing pretty well out here. Better than I was.” he tries to comfort the man since he sensed something odd about his tone when he said that. 

“Only gonna last so long. My sanity already has started slipping away. I’m not sure how much longer I have before I go completely off the deep end and start getting messy and reckless.” and what would come after that was left unsaid but easily read in his tone. 

In Peter’s opinion the man already was completely reckless and crazy judging from how he had just swooped in the middle of that horde like that but perhaps the stranger had pre-calculated the risks and thought everything through before acting out on it more than Peter knew. It certainly had worked out for him either way. 

“So you’re not even going to ask my name or anything?” 

“Nope. Don’t really want to know and don’t really care. There’s no point in my knowing your name. I’m going to take you home to daddy and the golden tower, you’re going to live your life and make it through this whole shit storm and we are never going to see each other again. What good is knowing your name going to do?” 

“Well..what if we both make it?” Peter asks curiously, which made Deadpool seem to stop and think for a moment. He obviously was not counting on the boy’s optimism. 

He gives a slow nod. “If we both make it.. And if we see each other again at the end of this, you can tell me your name. And I’ll give you my real name. How’s that sound?” 

Peter’s young face lights up with a smile. “Sounds great, Pool.” 

Deadpool kicks Reaper lightly to make him walk again, making him take the long way around the back blocks to get to the tower while avoiding the mess on the main roads. Peter was worried about his friends but he could not forget his manners. 

“Thank you for saving me. I’m sorry I yelled at you and panicked before. Heat of the moment fear.” 

“That was panic? Damn kid you are pretty level headed than cause that was not the sort of panic attacks I usually have or see.” the idea of this man having a panic attack was not an image peter ever would have pictured before and he still had difficulty with it. He seemed so in control and straightforward. 

“No that wasn’t a panic attack. I was just scared. I hope my friends made it out okay.” 

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to get attached to anyone?” Deadpool snorts. “It’s like signing a death wish out here. I mean maybe things are different for you Avengers but for normal strays like me, I could never afford to have friends or care about anything.” 

Of course Peter knew the rules, and he knew he was in a bad spot forming such a close bond with the two other men, but he was a sweet and caring kid by nature and it took more than the end of the world to deter him from loving his friends. Peter was the type to willingly give his life to save someone else’s and as long as someone benefited from it he would be completely okay with dying.   
“The rules still apply to us. We just don’t care.” he shrugs. No one talked about it but everyone knew about the couples inside the Avengers. When Bucky and Steve sleep in the same room every night and get really antsy and scared when the other is missing, it sort of becomes obvious that there is something between the two. Which is probably why they never go on missions together. They would be nothing but a liability to each other.   
Clint and Natasha were also suspected of being an item by some in the tower but they were more sneaky about it than Buck and Steve. They were always together though so it would not be surprising to anyone. 

“Dangerous.” Deadpool smiles a little though it was not visible other than his eyes crinkling a little at the corners of his mask. 

Peter just hums his agreement as he sees the tower coming into view. There were thankfully no zombies around but he could see Clint pacing along an upper level balcony. He knew Natasha was probably sitting nearby taking a nap or possibly watching the other end of building. 

“The guy on the balcony there is Clint.” Peter explains with a small smile. “He’s nice. Kind of silly sometimes.” he reaches down and mindlessly pets the horse’s flank behind Deadpool’s shin. 

“Long as he doesn’t shoot me, we’re good.” Deadpool hums and pulls back on Reaper’s reins, making the horse stop and stomp his hooves while snorting to make enough noise to alert the archer on duty. 

Clint looked where he heard the noise coming from and immediately lifts his bow, aiming at the man on the horse’s back until Peter popped his head out around Deadpool’s body and waves at him. 

Even from all the way down on the ground Peter could see the look of surprise on Clint’s face as he used his walkie talkie to call to report to Stark what was happening. 

“You should probably go. I’m not sure how Stark will take to me and I’d really rather not find out, y’know?” he turns his head a little to look at the teen out of the corners of his ocean blue eyes. 

“Oh. Yeah. Uhm well.. Thank you again for getting me out of there and don’t forget our deal, Mr. Pool.” Peter smiles as he slides off the back of the horse. He walks around in front, slowly dragging his hand across the horse’s side so the large animal wouldn’t startle when he stood in front of him. Peter reaches his pale hand up and gently strokes the horse’s nose. “And thank you too Reaper. Stay steady.” he smiles before running towards the Tower, where he could see Tony unbarricading the door for him. 

Peter looked back over his shoulder and watched the man kick his mount in the side and saw the horse turn and run away and he silently hoped that would not be the last time he ever saw him. 

Tony was clearly losing his head, talking a million miles an hour in his panic. Peter gave him all the information he had before he stopped answering the questions that were hurled at him. 

“Are Matt and Bucky okay?” He asks in a slow and tired voice. 

“Matt’s alright. Bucky..” Tony sighs heavily. 

Peter sucks in a deep breath. “No..” he whispers shakily. 

“He's alive. For now. We don't know if he’ll change yet. He's hurting but he does not seem to be showing signs of changing yet.” Tony shakes his head. “Steve is losing it.” 

Peter nods. “It's my fault. I..can I go see him?” 

Tony nodded and took him to the room where Bucky was being locked down just in case. The man was lying on a gurney, shirtless with bandages wrapped around his midsection. Steve was sitting beside him- obviously having refused to follow protocol of quarantine. Not when it was Bucky lying there and honestly Peter could not blame him. If he’d had a lover he wouldn’t leave his side in the darkest hour either even if it meant risking his own safety. 

“Hey Steve.” Peter says tentatively as he hangs around the doorframe, scared to enter the room and face the shame he felt looking at Steve. He should have been there. He didn’t have to hear what happened to know it well enough. Matt got in trouble and Bucky sacrificed himself to keep him safe. If Peter had been there he could have helped. Bucky may not be bitten if he hadn’t been swept away by.. Deadpool. 

“Hello Peter.” Steve answered in his always friendly and gentle voice.   
Peter wondered if he knew that this was his fault or if he just genuinely was a kind enough person to continue speaking to the man that may have made him lose his lover.

“Is.. how bad is..” 

“It’s not too terrible. Bite didn’t go too deep. Buck knocked it away before it could do any real damage but you know how it is. Anything could trigger a change.” 

“Steve I’m sorry I- This is my fault I shouldn’t have-” 

“Hold on, how do you think this is your fault?” Steve’s bright blue eyes raise a little to look at Peter with surprise. 

“I left. This guy on a horse came through and grabbed me and I left Bucky and Matt and now this happened-” tears were welling up in Peter’s eyes. 

“It is not your fault.” Of course Steve would say that. “Peter. It is not your fault. I’m glad you’re okay. When you did not return with them we all thought you were dead. I’m very upset about Bucky and I am scared out of my mind to loose him but I am relieved that at least we did not lose two good men today. One is bad enough.” 

“You sound like Tony.” he shakes his head and tries to chuckle a little. 

“I have to, don’t I? I think something out there is attracted to tears so it’s better I keep a straight face for now. Least until Bucky is either in the clear or...not. Whichever happens.” it was odd to not hear optimism in the Captain’s voice. He always encouraged everyone that no matter what happened they were going to be alright but here he seemed to be taking a knee and surrendering. It was heartbreaking to Peter to witness. He had to get out of there. 

“I hope he wakes up.” he mumbles and turns sharply on his heel, bolting out quickly before he lost it. 

“You and I both.” Peter heard Steve sigh softly before he got out of earshot. He felt a serrated knife go through his chest at the Captain’s broken and hollow words. A soft gasp escapes him and he leans against the wall around the corner, gripping his chest and letting himself slip down the wall as he struggles to breathe. 

Peter wasn't aware he was crying, wasn't aware of anything going on around him as he slipped into the dark abyss of a panic attack. He hasn't allowed himself to have one of these since the beginning of the shit storm known as the end of the world but this seemed like the appropriate time to finally let it swallow him. The odds of Bucky surviving were one out of a million and the only thing the young boy could think was ‘it should have been me instead.’


End file.
